Prologue - how does this sound?

It is set in another world called Ore



1402 Year of the Bull, on the plains of Moon Island



Then the sky exploded.



The dragon roared and all hell broke loose. Two orange eyes glared out from the black strip of the Void and the roars angrily continued.



Grensadan raced up to Arozar, a greasy black-haired man, and was stamping his foot on the ground with every quick step. Pillars made of earth rocketed up to Arozar, but he weaved in and out of them. He skipped, laughing, to Grensadan, a tongue of fire bursting in his palm. He scooped his hand up, slamming the fireball into Grensadan’s chest.



“Where’s Moroth now, boy?” he screeched mockingly.



Grensadan, an adult, hugged his chest, tears streaming down his cheeks. Eida had disappeared; Moroth had left with...with Domen. “Oh, my beautiful boy,” he cried quietly, as he crouched, rocking on the balls of his feet in pain.



The sky turned red. The dragon wanted to get out.



Arozar stepped back to the Void-gate, the arch with its way glowing silver and blue, like looking into a river. They were fighting alone on a field of battle, with both armies dead. The explosion had killed most of them; Grensadan was lucky to be even barely alive. He was slow now, however, too slow to fight Arozar. But Moroth was gone. Grensadan was on his own.



He was on his own ...



Grensadan stood up and ran to Arozar again, summoning more earth-pillars with a shout of rage. Arozar was caught off guard this time and was flung up into the air, however disappeared in a surge of fire and reappeared behind Grensadan. He slammed another fireball straight into his back. Grensadan screamed.



He didn’t want to die. He wanted to live, wanted to see Eida and Moroth and Maiyah. He wanted to hear Domen’s first word, see him walk his first step. He’d already heard his first laugh; the joyful note echoed in his mind as Grensadan wept.



His back hunched in agony, his bones tortured into a shape where they can’t move no more. Grensadan collapsed. He’d been fighting for five days straight. The Battle of Moon Island was close to finishing now. No rest, no food, no shelter - just the will to live and fight another day. Now he wanted that other day to come quickly, he wanted this fight to be over. What was he fighting for, anyway? The Void had to be closed. He had to stop that thing from coming out. Moroth had told him the ways to close it. Grensadan thought.



...



He got up and walked to the Void-gate. He walked past Arozar. Arozar created another tongue of fire in his hand. Grensadan heard its rush for air. He slid his foot along the ground. An earth-wall rose up behind him, blocking he and Arozar. He had no time to waste now. The earth-wall followed him as he came closer to the Gate.



The original plan was to distract Arozar from taking the dragon until help had arrived. He’d fought with Arozar one-on-one for three days. Now, it seemed like no help was coming at all; even the monks of the Moon Temple feared coming. They feared the dragon.



He stood only an inch away from it. Behind him was the sound of Arozar angrily trying to break through the wall; every time Arozar tried to move around it, the wall moved and met him still. In front of him was the unknown. No one had ever found out where the archway took them.



He stepped forward, going into it. Grensadan was swallowed by the glow, never to be seen alive again.



The wall dove back into the ground; Arozar found that he was alone. He yelled out. He ran to the Void-gate and threw his hands in, trying to pull Grensadan back. He cried out in pain. He didn’t drag back his arms as they were swallowed too.



“N-No one is going to escape me!”



A final roar came from above, then all turned silent. The sky changed from red to black: it was night time again.



“NO!” shouted Arozar.



The Void-gate became alert. It had found the distasteful man in its mouth.



BOOM!



Arozar was thrown back, being hit by a wave of unimaginable forces. The glow in the archway disappeared at once. Arozar was barely able to move his head but he saw through the other side of the archway. The portal had gone. It had closed with the Void.



Honest and serious opinions wanted please! Can you also tell me how you thought of the first line - "then the sky exploded" - and if that pulled you in or not, because I know the first line is always important. Thanks!Prologue - how does this sound?
It is very well-written, drawing the reader into the action. The direness and stress of the battle comes across very well.



One problem I did have with it is that the paragraph after the ellipsis ("He got up and walked to the Void-gate...") is very choppy. The story flows save for that passage.



As for the first line, no real reader will chuck a book away immediately if they don't like the very first line. It's the first few lines, the first few passages that hook the reader, and yours do that very well.



Very good--keep it up!Prologue - how does this sound?
that is amazingly written, well structured and i love the sky but at the beggining.



great character namesPrologue - how does this sound?
It's good. Keep going. The first draft is often not quite as we expect or personally feel to be right. It often has that feeling of 'not quite yet'. But finish the story before you concern yourself with how it sounds. Then when it is finished you can go through it and test it out to see how it sounds.